Since the rise of Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM has become far more common. From bondage fashion to kinky how-to classes, the once-hidden sexual interest is now more mainstream. But that doesn’t mean that being a submissive is easy. For some women, coming to terms with a submissive identity can run up against ideals of feminism; for others it can affect their entire way of loving and relating.
In this week’s installment of our interview series Love, Actually, exploring the reality of women’s sex lives, Rose (a pseudonym), 40, shares what it’s like to reveal to her husband of seven years that she wants him to be the dominant half of a BDSM relationship.
When I was 19, I became involved in my very first sexual relationship. The man I fell in love with had a very dominant personality, in a way that made me feel cared for, loved, and safe. He was extremely tall and had very broad shoulders and enormous hands that made my own feel dainty and sweet in comparison. He would walk into a room and give me a stern look that would make my insides clench and turn my knees into Jell-O. I knew that quiet look meant that he was going to take me very intensely, and I would instantly become wet.
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