By Emma Reynolds,

STAFF at Australia’s only 24-hour sex toy helpline say there’s nothing that would surprise them any more.

They’ve had calls from stressed-out women whose vibrators have run out of battery, men requesting blow-up dolls with a certain look and many, many people with things stuck inside them.

“You get really desensitised,” customer care agent Carly, 22, tells news.com.au at the Lovehoney offices in Brisbane. “I’m not fazed by anything.

“I get a 76-year-old woman whose husband has died and doesn’t know anything about this, to an 18-year-old boy. Everyone wants the same thing.

“It’s inspired me to spread the sexual happiness thing, education wise, I don’t think there’s enough. I really enjoy the atmosphere. I’d worked in retail for six or seven years before this, I don’t take myself too seriously, but I’m quite professional as well.”

By

I’ve had some really exciting jobs in my 26 years (I even sold curtains for six months), but I’d have to say my most exciting job was working as a sales representative at a sex toy shop.

It would be an understatement to say I learned a lot from my time there. I’ve learned what can and can’t go in your butt, how to tie up a corset, which lubes are the best for different sexual activities and just about every fetish and kink in the book.

Despite all these lessons, the most important thing I learned is how frightened many straight men are by sex toys.

Photos by MARTINA CIRESE,

With more than 20,000 visitors and 400 exhibitions, shops, and fetish performances, Berlin’s VENUS International Erotic Trade Fair is one of the biggest events of its kind. Since 1997, the annual expo has been presenting trends and innovations from the erotic sector, and last weekend marked VENUS’s 20th anniversary.

Producers and wholesalers presented their latest products—including a multitude of silicone sex dolls and latex fashion pieces—while the public was invited to participate in workshops and virtual-reality sex demos, as well as interact with a multitude of porn stars signing autographs and taking photos with fans. Passersby even had the opportunity to join in on the various strip shows and erotic performances going on in what felt like every corner of the space.

By Sam Webb,

Emmeline Peaches (not her real name) is a professional sex toy tester and runs an independent review website.

There are many contenders for the title of the world’s best job – beer taster, duvet tester and chocolate critic spring to mind – but one woman may have finally found the top role.

Emmeline Peaches (not her real name) is a professional sex toy tester and runs an independent review website.

Video by VICE,

In Slutever, VICE’s resident sexpert Karley Sciortino explores the mysterious labyrinth of human sexuality and checks out the various ways that people around the world like to get off. In the premiere episode of Slutever’s brand new season, Karley finds herself in the world of life-like custom male sex dolls and meets the team pioneering the perfect plastic fuck buddy for women.

By Laura Burnip for Mirror,

The ‘smart’ vibrator can be controlled through an app or synced to vibrate at different intensities depending on what’s happening in the story.

A sex toy which makes erotic audio books like Fifty Shades of Grey come alive has been creating a buzz.

Vibease is a ‘wearable vibrator’ controlled remotely via an app on your smartphone or iPhone.

And the toy can be hooked up with an audiobook, vibrating in sync to bring extra pleasure to listeners.

By Neelam Taylor,

A key feature of sex dolls that I thought would always give them away is that though they look real, they’re still inanimate and silent (but then again so is my boyfriend on a good day).

Well RealDoll, the experts in love dolls, have solved this, and the CEO Matt McMullen revealed to the Daily Star all the kinky and scarily realistic features of their dolls.

The interchangeable body parts are ideal for those of you who want ass one day and boobs another, or if you can’t choose between an A cup and a DD.

The new erotic cyborgs will breathe, have a pulse, smile, chat and talk dirty to all you lonely souls out there.

By Brian Moylan,

A horny dude will put his hard-on just about anywhere to get off. Besides their God-given hands, men masturbate by using products like the Fleshlight, humping their beds, sticking their meat in cuts of real meat, or dropping a few grand on a dead-eyed sex doll. Even with all of those places to put your penis in, I’m surprised that I rarely hear about guys using sweater sleeves to make their junk nice and toasty.

A friend of mine recently sent me a link to the Swoon Kink store on Etsy, which uses cashmere to make restraints, floggers, and, yes, masturbation sleeves. The sleeves look like a miniature cashmere sweater made for a small child or dog, with a ribbed-and-folded section at one end of the sleeve. (For all the Silicon Valley bros out there, there are also sleeves with hoodies attached). I was skeptical about having a bunch of yarn jangling on my Johnson, but regardless, I ordered one for my very own, a blue-and-brown-striped sleeve ($23, plus shipping) that seemed like the perfect accessory for my preppy pecker.

BY CAMILA VILLAFAÑE,

Imagine going without sex for five to ten years because you’re in the slammer! And worse, what if you’re a lifer? The thought of not getting off with another human being can drive anyone mad. So female prisoners got creative and came up with their own DIY sex toys to pass the time.

Produce

Some women will go as far as to use food that (shocker!), looks like dildos—such as cucumbers, bananas, and even sausages. In fact, the demand is so high that some women’s prisons require these foods to get chopped up into little tiny pieces. 

By JON ADAMS,

1. Throat spray if you have trouble deepthroating

They call blowjobs a job for nothing. And sometimes it can be a hard job too.

But not anymore. The Comfortably Numb Deep Throat Spray numbs your throat long enough to let your partner go as deep, and as long, into your mouth as he pleases. It’s spearmint flavored too, so there’s no bitter taste. Just a few sprays and you’ll be good to go.

By Hannah Ferret,

Joan B. has been giving vibrators the once over for 16 years.

FEELING a bit bored of the day-to-day grind? Maybe you should get some tips from this woman, who knows more than most about job satisfaction…

Joan B. is from Denmark, and for the last 16 years she’s made a living out of testing sex toys.

The 41-year-old has even been branded the ‘Dildo Queen’ by a men’s magazine, and began giving vibrators the once over as part of her role as a sex blogger.

She’s tired of the taboo surrounding dildos, and argues they are a great way to give your sex life a boost.

“I have never been frightened of dildos,” she explained.

By Kari Paul,

Why you may not want all of your devices to be ‘smart’

Here’s a place you probably don’t want Big Brother joining you: your bedroom.

An Illinois woman is suing the company behind her connected vibrator for getting a little too close for comfort. The suit alleges manufacturer Standard Innovation “secretly collect[ed] intimate details about its customers’ use of the We-Vibe” through the accompanying app, which allows users to control the device remotely and customize its features.